


You Matter To Me

by KuruHoshuRin



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Disabled Character, M/M, Paralyzed Takeda, Part of a bigger fic, Takeda gets pissed off, Ukai has some previous family trouble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-07 06:57:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6792169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuruHoshuRin/pseuds/KuruHoshuRin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ukai fucks up, but Takeda fucks up even more</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Matter To Me

**Author's Note:**

> Guys I'm going to point this out a lot ok so deal with me. This is part of a bigger fic idea that I'm writing. It's not even close to being finished yet and I'm sorry about that.  
> One day I came up with a headcanon for my AU that I then decided to write. After I was done writing it I was really proud of it and decided to post it even though there's been no prior background of what happens in the main fic.  
> There's a few main things in this that should be addressed before reading to get the total understanding of this fic and that is
> 
> 1) Ukai has been kicked out of his home and disowned by his family for being gay. This meaning he's lost all association with the last name of "Ukai" and prefers everyone just call him Keishin.  
> 2) Takeda is paralyzed if it wasn't evident by the tag. I'll try to be as detailed as I can without giving away any big spoilers for the main fic. He was hit by a car, and paralyzed from the waist down, though I'm not really sure that's the right term for it. Basically he's just lost all use of his legs. He's still capable of all other bodily functions other than walking. (I tried to do as much research on paralysis as I could before writing this and if I in any way fucked up I'm sorry) Also through a series of events, the reason Takeda was hit by the car relates back to Ukai. I promise that'll be clarified.  
> 3) The two of them have been dating for about a year now, and have known each other longer than that. That's why Ukai calls Takeda by his first name. It's not really that important to the fic but still a fun fact.
> 
> Now that those main points have been addressed, and I'm sorry for taking up a lot of your time with having to read those. Go and try to enjoy this lil thing I wrote.

It was about 10 pm and the urge to sleep was starting to overwhelm him. He tried wheeling around to see if that would wake him up, at least in the slightest.  
It didn’t work. Since he couldn’t walk around to get blood flowing to his brain, he didn’t feel any better than before he moved to the other side of the room. Actually, now that he thought about it, moving his arms had made him even more exhausted. He wished that Keishin would finish up whatever he was typing up on the computer soon so he didn’t have to ask him to carry him up the stairs to the bedroom. Even though the two agreed that it was fine for Ittetsu to ask for help any time he needed it, he still felt like a burden each time he actually did.  
He sat for a few more minutes before his eyes started to force themselves shut. He then decided that bothering his boyfriend would be a better option than falling asleep in his wheelchair again. He’d done it once before and ended up with a pain in his neck that he regretted for days.  
"Keishin are you almost done?”  
“No, I’ll be at this for like another hour yet,” Ittetsu sighed. He felt terrible asking this, but he was just too tired to stay downstairs anymore.  
“Then can you come here for a second?”  
“Yeah, what’s up,” He heard the kitchen chair scrape against the tile flooring as Keishin got up.  
As he walked in, Ittetsu answered with, “I’m really tired… could you take me up to bed?”  
“Of course! Don’t look so depressed when you ask, jeez Tetsu” Keishin ruffled Ittetsu’s hair, earning him a tired smile. He then carefully put an arm under Ittetsu’s legs, the other going on his back for support. Ittetsu wrapped his arms around Keishin’s neck, just to be sure he wouldn’t fall.  
It was slightly awkward to be carried up the stairs like this, but the two of them were slowly getting used to it.  
Once they entered the room, Keishin gently lied Ittetsu down onto the bed before bringing his other wheelchair over to Ittetsu’s side of the bed in case he needed to go anywhere during the night.  
“You’re ride’s here Princess,” He said jokingly as he stopped the wheelchair at Ittetsu’s side. He never expected Ittetsu’s eyes to widen in anger.  
“What did you call me?” Keishin could hear the frustration in his voice.  
“...Princess?” His voice came out quieter than he’d expected, almost as if he was scared.  
“Why?”  
“Because you’re like a princess. You can’t walk up the stairs yourself, so I always carry you instead,” As soon as he said it, he realized just how much he’d fucked up.  
“That’s your reason… THAT’S YOUR REASON?!”  
“Tetsu wai-”  
“DO YOU THINK I ASKED FOR THIS? DON’T YOU THINK I WANT TO WALK AGAIN? HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL? EVERY TIME I HAVE TO ASK YOU TO CARRY ME SOMEWHERE, HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?” His voice was rough from screaming, and tears were beginning to form in his eyes. Keishin was terrified. He’d never meant for it to be like this, he was just trying to be funny.  
“I didn’t mean it like-”  
“THEN WHAT DID YOU MEAN IT AS? ENLIGHTEN ME ON WHAT YOU MEANT”  
He stayed silent for a few seconds, trying to figure out what he actually meant. “-Well…”  
“EXACTLY. YOU MEANT IT THE WAY YOU SAID IT THE FIRST TIME. DON’T FUCKING LIE TO ME!” His eyes widened. He’d never heard Ittetsu use the word ‘fucking’ since they knew each other. This had all gone downhill. He was just trying to be cute.  
“I didn’t-”  
“SHUT THE FUCK UP! LEAVE ME ALONE!” His face was flushed red, and tears were now streaming down his face, though Keishin wasn’t sure if he actually knew he was crying. All he wanted to do right now is go over and try to comfort his boyfriend, though he wasn’t sure if it was such a good idea since he was the reason Ittetsu was like this in the first place. However, he couldn’t stop his feet as he walked over toward Ittetsu.  
“I SAID LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE, WHY IS THAT SO HARD FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND?”  
He still didn’t stop walking over to him. Ittetsu glanced in his direction, only for a second, but his eyes were full of pure rage.  
“FUCK OFF, UKAI!” Keishin stepped back, his eyes wide. His heart felt like it was ripped in two, and tears immediately streamed from his eyes. He felt like he was going to throw up. Memories from his past were flooding into his mind at full speed. He couldn’t breathe as he looked at Ittetsu. His eyes were were wide and he had a hand held over his mouth as if he knew he’d just made one of the worst mistakes of his life.  
Keishin couldn’t take much more of this. He choked out a sob as he turned on his heels and sped out of the room, slamming the door. He didn’t make it very far, as his legs gave out right when he slammed the door. He ended up just sitting outside of the bedroom, sobbing. If he hadn’t have joked around this never would’ve happened. He should’ve realized that his boyfriend was sensitive to the topic, even though it had been about a year since it had happened. That’s right… The Accident. That was his fault too. If he just would’ve kept his mouth shut it never would’ve happened. As he cried himself to sleep, all he could think about was how everything was his fault. Everything. All of Ittetsu’s problems. They were all his fault.  
-  
Once Keishin had left, Ittetsu finally let himself break down, though at this point he was crying mostly because of what he’d done. He’d hurt the only person in his life that accepted him and didn’t leave him when times got tough. Hell, the man accepted him when he lost the ability to walk.  
Deep down he knew that Keishin was joking, and that’s what hurt him the most. He just had to overreact. He wanted to hit himself. He was such an idiot. Keishin probably hated him now, and he wouldn’t blame him if he did. After all, it was his fault that he brought up an entire few years of memories that his boyfriend had tried so hard to forget.  
“This is all my fault…” he said to himself as he cried himself to sleep.  
-  
Ittetsu woke up at around 3 in the morning with the urge need to use the bathroom. He was one of the few paralyzed people who still had a fully functioning bladder, and he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.  
He heaved himself off the bed and into his wheelchair, forgetting all about what had happened earlier until he had finished doing his business and looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes were blotchy and red and he looked absolutely terrible. It was also at this point that he’d realized he fell asleep with his glasses on again. He swore one of these days he was going to break them.  
He wheeled back into the bedroom, assuming he’d see Keishin laying on his side of the bed like normal. However, when he got over to the bed, his boyfriend wasn’t there.  
Immediately Ittetsu began to panic. What if he’d fucked everything up. What if Keishin had left in the middle of the night while he was sleeping.  
He took a moment to realize that he should probably look for Keishin before immediately freaking out. He wheeled over to the door, slowly opening it. He began to wheel forward until he looked down and saw Keishin sound asleep on the floor. Ittetsu’s anxiety died down a bit once he saw this.  
“Jeez, Kei. You’re gonna catch a cold if you sleep on the floor like that,” he whispered. He thought about how if he could walk he would’ve picked Keishin off of the floor and carried him to bed.  
But he couldn’t do that.  
Instead he wheeled over to the closet and got a blanket. Setting it on his lap, he then wheeled over to the small desk they had in their room. He picked out a blue sticky note and a black pen and wrote,  
“Kei,  
I’m sorry… Please forgive me?  
I love you, ok? I’m so, so sorry.  
-Tetsu”  
There were tears in his eyes once again as he stuck the note on top of the blanket and wheeled back over to where Keishin was sleeping outside their room.  
He took the blanket and covered Keishin as best as he could. Then he bent over and stuck the note on top of the blanket where he hoped that Keishin would see it once he woke up.  
He wheeled back over to the bed and awkwardly climbed back under the sheets. He fell back to sleep relatively easily, once again forgetting to take off his glasses.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading it and I hope you liked it!!  
> If you decided to skip reading the giant block of text at the top and are now asking yourself a few questions (like I know I have in the past) may I suggest going back and reading it? It'll clear up a lot of things.
> 
> I was really anxious about posting this so if I get literally any positive feedback about this it'll make my lil heart happy.


End file.
